Indio's Mind
1 year ago
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collegehumor:

The Beginner’s Guide To Working Out
Hello! I’ve recently noticed that I get extremely out of breath and sweaty while folding my laundry, so I’ve decided to join a gym. However, I’ve never really worked out before. Can you help me get started?
No problem! First things first: you’re going to want to stop eating that Pop-Tart.
But it’s chocolate fudge!
Just put it down for now. It will be here when you get back.
I don’t know. My roommate’s kind of a jerk.
Trust me. Now, what kind of exercise do you want to start with: aerobic or anaerobic?
…What?
Would you rather run for a really long time without ever actually going anywhere or pick up a bunch of heavy things and then almost immediately put them back down?
Oh! Hmm…those both sound pretty stupid. Are there any other options?
No.
Ok. Then I guess the heavy things one.
Great. Let’s start with your deltoids.…
Your shoulders.…
Just sit down at that black machine with all the leftover sweat on it.
No problem. Hey, wait a second.
What’s wrong? Continue

internal conversation i have with myself on some occasions. I now just listen to the workout voice. the other one is kinda ehhh.

collegehumor:

The Beginner’s Guide To Working Out

Hello! I’ve recently noticed that I get extremely out of breath and sweaty while folding my laundry, so I’ve decided to join a gym. However, I’ve never really worked out before. Can you help me get started?

No problem! First things first: you’re going to want to stop eating that Pop-Tart.

But it’s chocolate fudge!

Just put it down for now. It will be here when you get back.

I don’t know. My roommate’s kind of a jerk.

Trust me. Now, what kind of exercise do you want to start with: aerobic or anaerobic?

…What?

Would you rather run for a really long time without ever actually going anywhere or pick up a bunch of heavy things and then almost immediately put them back down?

Oh! Hmm…those both sound pretty stupid. Are there any other options?

No.

Ok. Then I guess the heavy things one.

Great. Let’s start with your deltoids.

Your shoulders.

Just sit down at that black machine with all the leftover sweat on it.

No problem. Hey, wait a second.

What’s wrong? Continue

internal conversation i have with myself on some occasions. I now just listen to the workout voice. the other one is kinda ehhh.

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    internal conversation i have with myself on some occasions. I now just listen to the workout voice. the other one is...
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